Runaway Bay - Chapter 12
Anger
We called this house the “Canterbury House”, because it was at 2200 Canterbury St in east Austin. For the four of our children who remember the house, it is their favorite. It was almost a teardown when we bought it, and we fixed it up - including turning the spacious attic into a kids room with lots of fun and creative spaces in it.
But the house was also a place of pain in our marriage. I was not treating Amy well in those years. Even worse, I wasn’t even aware of the damage I was inflicting on my young wife. I feel like this picture somewhat reveals my obliviousness, and also Amy’s longsuffering. I tell about this season in our life from my perspective in Unity Through Repentance, Chapter 8 - which is titled, Compulsions. I am so thankful that God brought us through - finally showing me my sins, bringing me to repentance, and restoring our relationship. Because of this, our marriage is so much stronger and we work together in much more unity.
Here is a good example of my obliviousness. I grimace when I look at this picture now.
The back story is that I started a non-profit ministry called “Austin House of Prayer,” and also a for-profit bottled water company called “Cielo” to support it. Mostly I didn’t consult Amy on any of this.
Well, the day came to go pick up our first shipment of water and label it. I brought all the water into the Canterbury house, and we spent the day and evening labeling it. At the end, we were all exhausted. The problem was … it was Amy’s birthday. And I had completely ignored her all day.
Ouch.
Fr. Larry
Fr. Larry Mattingly was a Franciscan priest who played a pivotal role in our lives. He was the priest at Cristo Rey Catholic Church, two blocks from the Canterbury house, during the time when the Lord was drawing Amy into the Catholic church. He plays a larger role in our book Unity Through Repentance, but also appears in this chapter of Runaway Bay, where Amy brings to him her anger towards Mike:
“Amy,” Fr. Larry counseled, “those who do not fulfill the responsibilities of a father are not owed the debt of a father. You do not need to feel guilty about failing to do those things for your father that you imagine a good daughter would do.”
“But,” he continued, “you cannot expect of people that which they cannot give. You cannot continue to resent your father for failing to give what he is incapable of giving.”
Fr. Larry went on to pastor a parish in San Antonio, and spent the last years of his life in El Paso. We visited him in 2013, on our way back to Austin from a vacation in the mountains of New Mexico. It was good to see him! We introduced him to our fifth child, and we filled him in on some of the ways his influence in our lives continued to bear fruit - which of course pleased him to hear.
A couple of words about this website of “bonus material” for Runaway Bay:
Amy didn’t create it … Thomas did. You may have already guessed that the “I” in the captions isn’t Amy, but me - her husband.
( She doesn’t really like websites. Or QR codes for that matter. Or bulleted lists like this one - a dead giveaway that she didn’t write this part. )Therefore I don’t mind making the shameless plug - if you are enjoying her phenomenal book, would you be willing to put a review on Amazon? As Amy’s “publishing partner” the one surprising thing I’ve seen is this: people love her writing, and even volunteer their time to email or text her with their responses … but getting them to post a quick review on Amazon is a whole ‘nother level of hard.
( Here’s the link, if you’re so inclined https://a.co/d/9BbaoX2 )
Thank you so much!
Amy and I celebrating our 35th anniversary in Phoenix, Arizona.